Before I post my picture filled blog post summarizing the various events that have taken place in our ministry/my life during the last 3 months (as I've been promising)... I must share this. Because without sharing what was going on in my heart during those 3 months, I feel as if I'm lying to my blog and to those who read it.
I sent this update to my supporters about a month and a half ago- and it's pretty amazing to see how the Lord works and is continuing to work. It's a little long, but I promise it's worth the read. At least I think so ;)
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(Originally written February 16th)
It's been almost two whole months since I've arrived back in the DR after my two week stateside Winter break.
And alot has happened ministry wise in those 2 months:
•a short term team of college students served alongside Makarios for one week
•our elementary students began their second semester of the school year
•relationships continued to grow through my ESL classes and village visits to the point where I am beginning to be able to share truths from God's word
•I continued to work on social work "projects" to help our Makarios families.
•Our entire staff (including our executive director, Sharla, and Director of Development, Chuck) plus two trainers from our Mission Training (Robin & Heather) went away to the DR mountains for a staff retreat.
And alot has happened ministry wise in those 2 months:
•a short term team of college students served alongside Makarios for one week
•our elementary students began their second semester of the school year
•relationships continued to grow through my ESL classes and village visits to the point where I am beginning to be able to share truths from God's word
•I continued to work on social work "projects" to help our Makarios families.
•Our entire staff (including our executive director, Sharla, and Director of Development, Chuck) plus two trainers from our Mission Training (Robin & Heather) went away to the DR mountains for a staff retreat.
While my mission work is going strong, I'd like to use this letter to update you all on what the Lord has been doing in my heart.
During our mission training we learned that when you move to a new country you go through the following transition process: Settled, Unsettled, Chaos, Re-settled, Newly settled. When you're settled you're still in your home country. Then you move the new country and go through an unsettling process as you get adjusted And then just as you think things seem "okay".. you go through a Chaos stage. That is exactly where I was my first month back. And to say that my first month back was hard, would be an extreme understatement.
For me, my chaos stage consisted of my emotions being completely haywire, serious doubts as to why I was here, an extreme (and unwarranted) dislike for being here, and many many MANY tears. Literally, the only thing I was able to ask the Lord at this point was for him to simply help me. It's the shortest & yet hardest prayer I've ever had to pray in my entire life. "Lord, help." I had never felt so helpless over my situation/circumstances. Never had such an utter reliance on the Lord. And I've never pleaded so strongly with the Lord for his words in Psalm 40:1-3 (I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.) to become my reality.
For me, my chaos stage consisted of my emotions being completely haywire, serious doubts as to why I was here, an extreme (and unwarranted) dislike for being here, and many many MANY tears. Literally, the only thing I was able to ask the Lord at this point was for him to simply help me. It's the shortest & yet hardest prayer I've ever had to pray in my entire life. "Lord, help." I had never felt so helpless over my situation/circumstances. Never had such an utter reliance on the Lord. And I've never pleaded so strongly with the Lord for his words in Psalm 40:1-3 (I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.) to become my reality.
These past couple months of chaos haven't easy, and to be honest it still isn't easy. But I cannot even begin to describe to you the joy I have when I plead to the Lord and he answers my request. I've asked him to help me love others, have pleaded with him to redeem & change my negative feelings, and have requested that he would help me realize that my ultimate joy, peace and satisfaction is found in HIM, and not the circumstances right in front of me. And he has answered every single one of those prayer requests, and is still answering them.
So why share this, instead of expanding upon the tangible ways I've been serving these past few months? Because more than anything I wanted to be vulnerable with you guys as my supporters. I wanted to share with you all what the Lord has been doing in my heart, because through his teaching and discipline he's shaping me into the servant he wants me to continue to be while I live here in the Dominican Republic for the next year & a half. If I could sum up the lessons I've been learning these past 3 months it is that-- there is beauty in the brokenness. There is beauty in the fact that he is pruning, cleaning, and burning away everything that he doesn't want me to be. And that when he is done I will be a better servant of his kingdom. Has it been hard? More than I could ever imagine. But it is beautiful? Incredibly, and amazingly beautiful.
I close with asking for your prayer.. that as I slowly move out of this chaos stage, that I would simply learn what it means for me to live, be, and serve here to the fullest. After 6 full months of being in the country, I feel as though I am finally learning what it means to live here in this country. (On the transition scale I'm moving into my newly settled stage). It's hard, (really really hard) but as I've seen in the past 3 months the Lord does pretty amazingly with "hard."
I close with asking for your prayer.. that as I slowly move out of this chaos stage, that I would simply learn what it means for me to live, be, and serve here to the fullest. After 6 full months of being in the country, I feel as though I am finally learning what it means to live here in this country. (On the transition scale I'm moving into my newly settled stage). It's hard, (really really hard) but as I've seen in the past 3 months the Lord does pretty amazingly with "hard."
Thanks for letting me be vulnerable. Next update will be back to "normal"... filled with pictures and stories of the people Makarios serves!
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If you made it through this entire post, THANK YOU! I know it was long and without photos, but something about me didn't feel right to just post photos and stories about my past few months in the DR without sharing what was truly going on in my heart.
Next blog post: Pictures of the last 3 months! (I know I've been promising this for awhile, it's coming!)
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